When you run out of the big one, two little ones will do.

I guess the writing on the wall was wrong.

A different color for the next 35 days.

Punch a hole in the wall, fill it with plastic bags, no one will notice.

How long has the sink been leaking?  Long enough for the plyers to rust.

You have a hidden safe room. Or just a safe in a hidden room.

Fuses – 1955.

They ain’t Nemo and Dory.

Clean your Mini-Split filters.

Bathroom vent, so much wrong here.

Why are there coconuts in a fry pan next to the toilet?

They said the roof was only five years old.

When the termites eat the National Geographic then leave.

When the non-plumbing standard drum trap is used and installed wrong, you get a sewer smell every time you run the water!

Love me some Disco and Babs on my 8-track!

Nice to have a tank in your front yard.

 Is that Darryl Dixon’s crossbow?

Yes, a real gun this time!

In the summer, do they install the screen?

When the roof leaks onto the ceiling and you hide it with sheets.

Obviously they did not think this through when they added the double sinks.


10 mouse traps.

Time to prune the garage roof.

Not the recommended way to secure the air filter in the furnace.

Smoke Detectors work when they have batteries in them. 

Always good to have eight broken bags of Zonolite.  An insulation with Asbestos in it.😱☠

The auto reverse sensor for the garage door do not belong on the ceiling rafters, 8 feet off the ground!

Empty Rubik Cube Boxes = Art!

Big big Beetle!

Her name is Queeny.

Various vent fails.

Donating blood.

My first elevator in a house.

There was a bird in the bedroom.

Drain the toilet or keep the heat on.

Making it fit.

One way to recycle aluminum.

Crawlspace filled with dryer lint.

My new Radon record.  Thank you Woonsocket.

Hide the hole in the door with a post-it note, the inspector will never find it.

Why is it wet inside the window?

Proof that I should not be allowed to touch the iron.

Curtain tassel light shade.

Pandemic toilet paper.

Another one!!!

Bingo beats Bongo by a nose!

Dishwasher is full, time to clean the bags and cat food?

Clear piping to see your goldfish disappear.

Shower cap for shower head?

Just waiting for Skynet…

Staircase to injury.

Then why is it Volume 1?

Little musical bug humor🤣

Good thing I do not drink on the job!

I am at a loss for words on this one.

Controls are on the wall!

How old is this?

Taking a cold shower to the next level.

Honey!  Why is there a panda in the bathroom?


Crawlspace filled with leaking pipes, cobwebs and more sand than Narragansett beach.

Dude, you seem a little deflated.  Everything OK?

9 Flavors of roofing shingles.

Mold on the ceiling and I don’t know what on the fan.


See that little door in your attic crawlspace where you store your cloths?  

Open it up to get some fresh air.

This is a basement flood ready to happen.

Cannot use glue to join PVC and copper.

It was so cold! 

How cold was it?

The water dripping from the Temperature Pressure Release valve froze as it made its way down the pipe!

When you glue your metal face plate to the wall and it falls on your tester.

Just a hair ball in the shower stall.  Move along.

A number 2 pencil for your crossword puzzles!

Here is your attic access. 

Do not mind the red spinning blades of death!

You know what this inspection needs?

More Cowbell!

I love model trains. 

This inspection took 8 hours to complete. 

I had to test the track!

Fire Grenade

1 ) See Fire

2) Throw at Fire

3) Fire is extinguished

Vote for Shemp!

Original 12″ wall mounted TV from 1980.

1/2 Size Panel Sale?

Tiny Froggy.

I’ve never owned this many sneakers in my life time.

2 mice, 1 panel.

Plants growing in the basement.

Inside the well water cover, a rusty mud from the center of the Earth!

Rust in the electrical panel or burnt cheese pizza?

Weird Al might like the accordion, but used as plumbing piping, no!

Anyone know where the last piece of the puzzle is?

Honey, do you like my hair cut?

That is dog hair.

The patrol officer said the gun was not real.  Looked like it was to me!

But the machete was real!

9 Different table cloths in the attic crawl space!

Inspecting this roof was a little prickly!

Who did this?

My cousin’s next door neighbor’s dog walker’s mechanic’s hair dresser. Why?

Jump start your house!

Quick Access!


Hidden closet!

Snake skeleton!

The window is closed, why is there still a draft?

Half an air filter to better than no air filter.

Char-broiled attic.

Electrical Tape to the Rescue!

Took me forever to find the light switch!

Tell me you are not hearing the Super Mario Brothers theme music right now?

What? Why?

Nice! Very Nice!

What is this stuff hanging from the attic ceiling?

Pterodactyl Nests?

A second one?

Where does the vodka sauce go ?

Intestines or Foam Insulation?

Vent Stack – Almost Made it!

I hate it when there are parts left over!

Straight shot for Santa at this house.

Why is this house so cold?

 Because dust is not insulation.

Put a sock in it!

Who’s gonna check in the closet?

I do!

When 1 handrail is not enough,

 go with 3!

My highest temperature reading!

161 Degrees!

My highest Radon reading!

14.7 pCu/L!

Time to mitigate!


A lot of bees!

Rest in peace Mr. J.

The most narrow staircase ever!

My first triple tap!

A bird hole.

An Atari 400 Personal Computer sitting in the attic since 1979!

Box was empty.  🙁

Mushrooms growing in the basement ceiling.

Yes, that is a gun!

Why’d it have to be snakes!

And spiders!

And mice!

I hope it is not Mickey!

Dad Where is My Basketball

Dad, where is my basketball?

Honey, can you fix the tile?


I found this a-moos-ing

I’ll make it fit – light bulb

I’ll make it fit – toilet

Let us hope it is drought season

Voltage Tester
For that someone special

Coffee brightens my day

String Switch

     Am I seeing double?

Again, am I seeing double?

I wonder what plugged into this outlet?

Put a sock in it.

At the top…

…and the bottom.

The whole picture.